The Haunting of Edward Masen
by housewifespliffin
Summary: It was a love so intense it destroyed and burned everything in it's path. She claimed she was dead, they claimed he was crazy. A story of how love transforms into obsession and the descent into madness. Dark Romance. Edward/Bella
1. Prologue

Hey Friends, this is a story I had published on this site under a different pen name. After much deliberation, I decided to take it down, do a massive rewrite and re-upload it here.

A couple of notes before we dive in-

First of all, this story was originally written as a novel. I wrote it years ago so it has nothing to do with Twilight. This story is also dark and for Mature readers only. There will be depictions of child abuse, spousal abuse, language, sexual situations and disturbing elements.

If dark romance is not your thing, back out now.

This story will be posted in Edward's POV. I will be uploading the outtakes, and some of those will have Bella's and other's POV in them in another story (believe me, there's a lot).

Since I have finished this story, it will be updated twice a week. I haven't settled on the days yet.

I truly hope you enjoy this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

_"I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; _

_they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind. _

_And this is one: I'm going to tell it - but take care not to smile at any part of it."_

_ -Emily Bronte- Wuthering Heights_

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

There are three undeniable facts of which I am most certain of:

The first, my name is Edward Masen.

The second, I am not mad.

And the third, I absolutely and irrevocably_ hate_ Isabella Swan.

Eleven years of my life completely wasted on a broken fragment of my fragile mind, an error of my imagination, my secret shame, is the secret that I'll never tell. Her long black hair, amethyst eyes and the white dress she always wore is forever imprinted in my mind, like a black stain spreading and infecting my psyche. When I had first seen her, I thought she was an angel, but I was wrong. Her beauty was deceiving, her sweetness turning sour, the most bitter of poisons.

She was my salvation and damnation.

Isabella was the best and absolute worst experience to have ever happened to me. She made me feel loved and worthwhile, even when I could not stand myself; so pathetically weak and stupid. Yet she believed despite all the disgusting attributes attained to myself, I was worthy of her time and affection; it was the closest to real love I ever felt, yet none of it was real. Even my own parents grew tired of me. To them I was only a cheap bottle of wine and a drunken night. But to Bella, I was a choice, her choice; a calculated, thought-provoking choice.

But she was never my choice, and I needed her like one needs oxygen to breathe. She was life, my soul.

Six years ago they tore me away from my life. Yet how could I live without it? I didn't. Edward Masen died within the whitewashed walls, to the musical accompaniment of tortuous screams in a madhouse; where my parents left me to rot. It was the second time I screamed out for Isabella and received silence as my answer, and it was last. After my meetings with the psychiatrist, he declared me mentally insane and unstable. And in that moment I swore on everything I knew that her name would never pass my lips again.

Isabella Swan never existed.

Isabella Swan is dead to me.

Gone was the little boy blinded by his own naivety and hope, the weakling afraid of the dark and the voices screaming in his head. Gone are the hushed, sweet songs lullabying me to sleep, her voice, soft and hypnotic soothing over me like a balm, chasing the pain and misery away. The absence of her is suffocating, the hole in my heart that healed wrong, and filled with bitterness.

Today they told me I am being released, that I am going home.

I'm not even sure I know what home is anymore.

* * *

Prepare yourself, this is going to be a heart-wrenching ride.


	2. Chapter 1

Thanks to everyone who followed this story so far! I'm very excited to be posting the revised version of this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter One**

**August 5, 1938**

"Edward did you hear me?"

Esme's voice rings throughout the room.

"_Are you happy to be going home today?"_

Her question does nothing to comfort me. It has been six years since I've felt the hard, wooden floors beneath my feet, the sound of my mother at the piano, and the groans echoing through the walls of my previous home. Happiness was not generally something found there, only pain and loneliness. There is no happiness in that wretched house without _HER_.

At some point you realize that life goes wrong, that it dealt you the wrong cards. I didn't fully understand that concept until I realized it was I that was the mistake, that I was the wrong cards dealt to my parents.

"Yes," I answer monotone.

She simply peers at me with uncertainty in her eyes. My answer is not the one she wants but rather the one she knows is to be expected. She would have me wrench my heart out to her and say what I really feel. As if I could ever do that, even if I wanted to. The fragmented pieces of my mind are barely being held together and to be honest is a sure way to never escaping this prison. I learned early on the truth is dangerous. The last time I faced the truth, I went mad. Literally.

A mistake I will never make again.

All I left is to move forward and never look back. My own parents didn't even try to get involved in my life while I was here. Who could blame them? I was a complete nutcase and an embarrassment to them. Yet somehow I did blame them, the rational part of my mind realized their failures as successful parents. The fact I was always so alone, and their indifference proves my point. Neither of them wanted to waste their time handling a child, though I admit while my mother did have her moments, even she never came to see me.

At first I thought it was just due to the humiliation, or anger and that it would soon pass, but as the days turned to weeks and the weeks into months I realized no one was coming and no one cared. They abandoned me at this wretched madhouse and not once came to visit. While I hate myself for being everyone's problem, even I realize that this was not entirely my fault. But seeing as how I cannot voice my blame on my parents, I put the blame solely on ludicrous image of my deeply fragmented mind; Isabella.

She will always be the one at blame.

"Edward, I know this is" Esme suddenly speaks in a soft voice. "Well different for you. But you're going to be fine." She continues assuredly. "Anyhow, Emmett was just released two days ago, but he's waiting for you since he has nowhere to go." She finishes.

I give her a sad smile in return. Even she knows the difference between what we want to believe and what is reality. Going home to two people who wished I had never been born is a sure way of saying you'll be anything but fine and she knows it. But for now I indulge her in the lie she's deluding herself into believing, she's been nothing but kind to me my entire stay here, basically my mother is some ways. The last thing I want to do is to upset her, even if it is the truth. As I said before, the truth is dangerous.

Having Emmett, my only friend since I've been institutionalized here, being released with me today makes the situation a little more bearable.

Emmett McCarty is a man of intriguing secrets. He is quiet, kind and a much better man than myself. His story is sad, much more tragic than my own. He grew up only hours away from my hometown to a wealthy family who had no interest in him. Emmett lived a privileged life, had quite a bit of wealth to his name, prospects and continues to be extremely intelligent but there was this one flaw, something that could not be overlooked by his family, nor their society. Emmett McCarty is an epileptic. There lies the very flaw, the only one that could not be ignored and so they left him here in this institution at the age of seven. He is only a year older than I, but he did not let the bitter world ruin his mind, did not let it poison his life, he makes his own destiny and has this forgiveness, this quiet strength that I will never possess and sometimes I hate him for it.

A hand touches mine and immediately I'm shaken from my thoughts. Esme is staring at me with such sadness in her eyes and this pain spreads in my chest because I wish it is she that I am to go home to, and I partly believe she wishes the same. So in an effort to perk her up a bit, I smile a little bigger and go get my trunk and start packing what little items I own before finding the suit that she bought for me most recently.

Isabella was an idea I made out of loneliness as a child, and when I left that house I left her behind as well. In a way it is nice to be rid of her, she was always giving me false hope, always leading me to believe that I was someone of worth. The cold harsh truth is I am not, I tend to ruin everything I touch.

"Do you mind if I ask a question about her?" Esme asks.

She never had to speak the name to which she was referring, I already know to whom she is referring. The faculty learned quite early on that Isabella was a touchy subject for me and I never even wanted to hear her name.

Bitterness grew in my heart slowly eating out the love I once felt for her. My own personal feelings are more like a distant dream, faded away in the recesses of my mind. I can still remember her clear as day, she was so frighteningly beautiful, a beauty that seemed to draw things to her like a siren, but she was wildfire, destroying everything left in her wake. Her beauty made me feel warm, and her rage protection. She was like a mother to me, always so caring and gentle.

But that's all passed now.

She's nothing but dust blown in the wind, gone.

I nod my head slowly to Esme giving her permission.

Her face immediately becomes apprehensive; as if afraid she might offend or send me into relapse. Suddenly I am overwhelmed by love and concern for her; no one has ever shown me such affection and kindness like her.

"It's okay," I assure her gently.

She then takes a deep breath before looking directly in my eyes.

"I watched you suffer every night from the demons that poisoned your mind," she began softly. "And somehow you worked through it, overcame what we believed you never would. And now that you're going back to the same place where it all began, I" she falters on the last word, having trouble continuing.

Suddenly she leans forward and grabs both my hands, as her eyes search my own.

"I just can't help but worry that if you only saw her there and nowhere else, that returning could mean," she cuts off, too distraught to finish.

"I might see her again," I finish darkly for her.

I would be lying if the thought never crossed my mind. Isabella claimed she was dead, so there was that slight possibility that I could see her and not be mad, but the odds are extremely thin. At the end of the day I choose to believe that she was never real.

"That won't happen," I say assuredly looking into her eyes. "It won't happen because you taught me to be of strong mind." I say with a genuine smile.

Immediately she returns the gesture and I am happy to put her mind to ease some. This is not her burden to bare, not her insanity to deal with. I must handle my own problems now. The distraught eleven year old that I once was, is no more; instead a young man fills his shoes, and it's time I start acting like one. This woman has been like a gentle mother to me and all I want is her happiness and peace of mind, even if mine will never come.

Suddenly her hands reach up to her neck, shakily fiddling with the chain there. As she finally gets the chain loose and off her neck, she reveals the necklace is her rosary. Esme is a highly devoted Catholic and an avid believer in God. She shakily holds the necklace out to me and puts it in my hand, grasping mine tightly.

"Take it," she says looking at me with concern. "Take it and remember that God will keep you safe, even from your mind" she finishes with conviction.

While I normally would indulge her in anything she bestows on me, this I cannot accept. The notion of God is sickening as it is unappealing. I've no time for such frivolity as faith in God, nor will I indulge in such. Shaking my head in protest, I slowly give it back to her to her utter dismay. She knew handing me such an object would most likely wind back up to her again and this time is no exception.

I want nothing to do with God or his religion.

"Keep it," I say softly. "I have no place at the foot of God," I finish softly but firmly.

Her eyes tear up slightly at my refusal and I don't miss the pity that lurks there as well. Normally this would anger me, I do not need anyone's pity, but hers is out of sheer concern and sadness. I know that she wishes she could save me, and yet can do nothing.

"Everyone has a place at the throne room of our Lord, including you Edward," she presses.

Agitation, not at her, but towards her God runs hot through my veins. Apparently God disagrees with her, for I would not be here to begin with if He had.

"I've no need of God or His precious mercy Esme," I spit out venomously. She flinches at my tone. "When I had need, he drove me out" I finish coldly.

Her eyes tear up even more and water quickly spills out over her cheeks, hurt by my tone and accusation. Guilt envelopes me at the sight before me. God, will I ever stop damaging the people I love?

"God has not the patience for men like me Esme," I say softly. "You are not like me, bitter, angry and vengeful. You are kind and pure. Keep your rosary, you deserve it," I finish quietly.

Tears continue to stream down her face and I realize she is not crying out of hurt for herself, but rather for me. She so desperately wishes things were different. Don't we all? I prayed to God and he remained silent. As he is God he can do as he wishes, but I had to pay for the price of that choice and so this is mine. I put my hope and faith in others, including Him, and they all failed me miserably. It is just too hard to keep doing that to myself, constantly hoping and being left behind by everyone I love.

Suddenly she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me into a motherly embrace. Warmness floods through me, I take every moment of affection given to me seeing as I won't be getting it later. Fear begins to course through me at the sudden notion of what's really happening, but I throw it back into the proverbial dark closet housed deep in the recesses of my mind.

Slowly I pull back and smile warmly at her.

"I'll be fine," I say assuredly. "You said so yourself remember?"

She nods in response but then takes my face in her hands before looking at me intently.

"No matter what happens, always know you'll always be welcome at my table." She says firmly and I know she means it.

Esme never says something she doesn't mean. All I can do is nod, my tongue deciding to not move in fear I might upset her again. After a moment of silence Carlisle, my psychiatrist walks into my room.

"Go ahead and get changed Edward, the train is about to leave" he says. "Emmett cannot stay here on charity any longer." He finishes coldly.

I glare back at him in response, biting my tongue. God forbid this institution help the needy out of charity. It's not Emmett's fault he has epilepsy and was thrown out like an animal with nowhere to go. Finally, I nod curtly before Esme engulfs me into another hug. As her arms leave me, coldness replaces the warmth. Suddenly I'm no longer afraid of seeing Isabella, but rather to never feel the embrace and acceptance of another. My own parents couldn't accept me, insane or not, how could another? Esme was something of chance, a part of the universe gone wrong and somehow it ended up in my favor. Who's to say it will happen again?

Instead of crying out to her like a child, I stand up straight as she walks away. Quickly changing out of my uniform and into my black suit, I decide to wet my hair down. After agreeing to my appearance, I finish packing and walk to my door. Slowly I turn around to the now empty room and somehow that's how I feel, empty, completely void of any feeling whatsoever.

With resolve, I turn my back to the room and walk briskly down the hall gripping my suitcase as I make my way to where Carlisle is. When I reach the end of the hall, a nurse unlocks the door and Carlisle stands on the other side of it with Emmett.

"Ready?" Carlisle asks with false pity leaking its way into his voice.

Emmett eyes me warily, knowing of my hatred for the man.

"Let's not pretend you're not ecstatic to finally be rid of me," I sneer.

His eyes go dark with cold expression. There it is, his true face.

"You were a most troubled child, I am just happy to have sorted your twisted mind," he says with a wicked grin.

"_Hold him down Nurse!"_

_Cold hands press down on me. _

_Screaming._

_Thrashing._

_Pleading._

_Fire courses through my body, my body twitching._

_Pain._

_Pain._

_Pain. _

_Cold eyes and a feral grin close in._

_Blood filling my mouth._

My body goes rigid. My fingers curl into my palm, a tightness spreads across my chest.

I want him dead.

"Edward, let it go" Emmett says grabbing my forearm, his gray eyes sharp.

But I cannot let it go, the hatred is too hot, too much to ignore.

I turn, taking a threatening step forward. "You egotistically, son of a-

"Careful Son, don't want to walk right back through those doors do you now?" He cuts in harshly, absolutely way too satisfied with his threat that he knows he holds over my head.

Emmett roughly pulls me back.

"Forgive him Sir, he's just anxious" Emmett states calmly. "Though who could blame him? After all his family abandoned him here and then disappeared for six years." He finishes tightly.

He's saving me, again and I'm grateful that one of us can keep our head around our self-serving psychiatrist. And despite how angry I am, I will never come back here. I will die before being readmitted. In response I shake off his hand but and continue walking forward regaining control. Carlisle chuckles at my response but I keep moving forward.

"Leave it, he's a petty man who must make other's feel weak and beneath him to feel anything of worth," Emmett says quietly but coldly and I envy that, his sense of control over his emotions, how he can balance them.

As we leave the building, the anxiety coursing through me mounts.

_Isabella breathes against my skin, kissing the back of my neck, her voice softly singing a song and soon I find I am too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. _

"_I swear to you, I will never leave you again; that nothing could ever separate us," her voice whispers darkly in the night._

If only it were true.

My own longing disgusts me.

* * *

I'm curious of what you guys think so far, please let me know. Your feedback means so much to me!

This story will be updated every Sunday and Wednesday.


	3. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Edward is seventeen right now.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

As Emmett and I board, we quickly find a secluded spot on the train. Emmett puts up our suitcases then sits opposite of me, staring out the window.

"When we get off, I'll start looking for a shelter house and a job quickly, hopefully then I can save a little and begin rebuilding," he says while looking out the window.

He's right of course, but the idea that I'm going home to a house and he to a shelter doesn't settle well with me.

"Don't be ridiculous," I say almost curtly. "There's no reason for you to stay in a shelter when you can just take a spare room in my house," I finish.

He eyes me curiously, obviously not expected the invitation and it slightly hurts that he would think so lowly of me, that I wouldn't extend my hand for a friend in need, especially a friend who has been with me through hell.

"Won't Jack have some issue with that?" He says. "It's almost certain he's not particularly happy about your return, I can only imagine his stance on you bringing home another 'freak.' He finishes with a look of disgust.

He's right, but Jack can deal with it or throw both of us out. Emmett is the only true family I have.

"You and I are brothers," I say. "And if he doesn't like it than we can both live in dingy shelters and scrape our way back to the top. I don't need him to rebuild my life." I finish.

The truth is I don't, if there was one thing of use Jack taught me it was never lay down and die, you fight for what it is yours. Nausea sweeps over me and quickly I excuse myself.

Finding my way to the men's room, I quickly lean over and vomit. My anger can only go so far till my fears take over. The idea of seeing Jack again with the possibility of seeing Isabella has my skin white and clammy and my stomach churning. Finally I clean myself up and look in the mirror. My eyes have dark circles beneath them and my skin still a little pale. So I splash water on my face and straighten myself up.

I have no time for fear now.

As I open my compartment door a pretty, young blond with blue eyes, sitting opposite of Emmett looks shyly at me. At first I am too captured to say anything, she looks so much like my mother it's striking. Judging by the way Emmett is looking at her and then at me, he's obviously taken interest in the girl and he's so humble and weak he will stay quiet and let me take her from him in a blink of an eye. Finally shaking myself out of my thoughts to keep from looking like a fool, I speak to her.

"Hello," I say quietly.

Suddenly her eyes go wide and I can't help but wonder if I just caught her off guard. For some reason the notion amuses me. She opens and closes her mouth several times stuttering with each word and shifting awkwardly in her seat.

"Have I offended you?" I ask as she just keeps looking at me without replying.

Apparently she hasn't had much experience with the opposite sex. Well I haven't either so I don't have much room for judgment, but her behavior is adorable. A small smile tugs the corners of my mouth at her discomfort. It has been a while since someone has genuinely made me smile.

"I'm sorry," she suddenly says, finally able to collect herself. "It's just that, well you are" she falters out and I accidentally let out a chuckle of amusement.

Her eyes go wide again at the sound.

"Oh my goodness, this is such an embarrassment," she exclaims and finally I go sit by Emmett, opposite of her.

"No," I say shaking my head. "I believe you are doing perfectly fine. It is I who should apologize for obviously making you uncomfortable" I continue as I lean forward, take her hand and lightly kiss the back of it.

I don't miss her sudden gasp and inwardly smirk. Too easy.

Pink tinges her cheeks at my touch and I have to fight to keep that smirk inside my head. Though I don't miss how Emmett turns his head at the gesture, obviously upset how I've just stolen her attention from him. It should make me feel guilty, but I can't help but feel the surge of power flowing through me knowing he saw her first and probably captured her attention first and how he just lets me take whatever I want from him without a fight. The power is addicting, his submission addicting.

"Oh goodness no," she responds slowly taking her hand back. "I believe you acted quite adequately!" She responds enthusiastically. "I'm just not very socially inclined apparently," she trails off embarrassed of herself.

I quickly intervene.

"No, I must have caught you off guard." I say

A smile spreads widely across her face before her eyes take a quick overview of my body. It doesn't take a genius to know she's attracted to me.

Slowly I extend my hand to hers.

"Edward Masen," I say as I flash a smile. "May I have the pleasure of knowing yours?" I ask.

She blushes again before responding with a slight giggle.

"Rosalie," she says with a smile. "Rosalie Hale" she continues.

Soon she looks away from my direct gaze and I chuckle darkly to myself. Such a silly girl.

"So, what brings you on the train?" I ask.

She looks up immediately and by the look on her face she seems grateful for my interest.

"Well, as I've stated to your friend, I'm coming home" she says excitedly while nodding to Emmett. "I've lived with my grandmother for some time and now it's time for me to return." She finishes.

I smile and nod.

"So um," she starts out stuttering again. "What about you?" She finally gets out.

Suddenly a tightness in my chest captures my attention. How is one supposed to make conversation when they spent the last six years of their life being institutionalized? Guess they just made it sound good.

"I am also returning home," I say vaguely hoping she'll get the hint and drop it.

She doesn't.

"Oh really, where from?" She continues to pry while finally glancing at Emmett for an answer that he refuses to give as well.

My brain goes into overdrive because there is no way I am about to tell her the truth. If I told her she would be running for the hills, completely unnerved by me. Finally my mind comes to a manageable explanation.

"I was very sick," I say feigning sadness. "My parents spent the last six years of my life trying to find a way to save me." I continue as her eyes go wide with shock.

"Well, did you find what you were looking for?" She asks softly.

A smirk plays up my lips and the look in her eyes tells me she definitely notices.

"Oh I've found it alright," I say looking at her, intensely pleasured by seeing that blessed blush gracing our presence once again.

She catches on quick.

The moment is intense but neither of us move or speak. I have to admit, she is lasting considerably longer than I expected. Emmett just turns his head, sulking some at the open flirting that he has no part in.

Suddenly the conductor announces that we're arriving to our destination effectively breaking the hold on the both of us. Rosalie is the first to look away, but smiles softly to herself. She then turns back towards me and bites her lower lip before speaking.

"Well you know what they say," she says with a glint in her eyes. "Look to the sky, if it blue and sunny then so shall your life be," she says. "And if it stormy, filled with rage and passion, so shall your life be." She finishes quietly before standing up.

"Nonsense, I make my own way" I say firmly but still with a smile. "And I prefer Machiavelli to Bronte any day." I playfully tease.

She simply shakes her head and heads to the door but pauses for a moment and looks over her shoulder to me.

"Well good luck, and it was a most pleasure meeting you Mr. Masen, Mr. McCarty" she says shyly. "I'm sure we'll meet again soon, considering the size of this town." She finishes with a soft smile before glancing at Emmett, her blue eyes regarding him with quiet interest, though his back is turned and he cannot see her quickly taking off.

Somehow her comment about the sky bothers me. It really shouldn't, it's completely ludicrous, just a tale tell. But as I look out to the sky and see the dark thunderclouds rolling in, my brows furrow together.

"Nonsense," I say again, this time more for myself than anything.

But I still can't stop the icy, cold chill running through my body. I'm home, back to the place where it all began.

_The room begins to spin and spin and spin and the voices louder and louder and louder. Suddenly I can't breathe and the howling of the wind screeches through my window as I sit up, covering my ears screaming at the voices to leave._

_My mother sprints to the bed and tries to pry my hands off my ears. _

"_Edward__! __Edward __please," __s__he pleads with me._

"_Make them stop! Please make them stop Mommy!" _

"_Make what stop Baby? What?" She replies shaking me. _

_It stops. The quiet is so sudden it makes the hairs on my arms stand. The room returns to normal and the __silence __sends chills down my spine__._

"_Didn't you hear them?" I whisper. _

_My mother's eyes go wide and she keeps a firm grasp on each of my wrists. _

"_Hear what Baby?" Her voice trembles._

Home.

But it didn't feel like it.

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you think so far.


	4. Chapter 3

Another chapter. I hope you guys enjoy this one!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**xxx**

The air is eerily silent as I ride in the back of the all too familiar black car with Emmett who is still sulking. In my line of vision I see my mother is playing with her hands nervously, unsure what to say. It's been six years since I have seen her face seeing as not once did she come to visit me while I was in the institution. No she just left me there, no doubt due to Jack, the bastard doesn't deserve the title father. I shouldn't find it so strange that she appears so differently now, it's quite obvious the past six years have taken a toll on her. She seems withered, aged by depression and anxiety.

Or was it she was always this way, I had just failed to notice it?

Of course it doesn't really matter, it's not as if there's anything I can do to change it. If she spent the last six years drowning in guilt for what she did to me, she deserves it.

"Your father would be here if he could," she begins quietly. "He's just been so busy at work lately," she rambles on knowing it won't make any difference to me.

Jack never liked me to begin with, I was always his weak and an embarrassment. why would he start to appreciate me now? But I guess it's just easier for my mother to pretend he cares rather face the hard truth.

They say the truth sets you free, but what if it doesn't, what if it only brings to light the bars caging you in? What good is truth when it only shows the horror without offering solutions, when it only proves how enslaved you are?

"Of course," I respond quickly, feeding her the lie she wants to hear.

Maybe life is better this way, for her anyways, to live in complete ignorance of the life you're living and to just pretend that it's something that it's not. One doesn't have to deal with consequences of their actions if they refuse to acknowledge them. Of course someone pays, someone always has to pay and I guess the cards fell to me, because Lord knows my parents aren't paying.

She simply turns and smiles weakly at me, appreciating that I allow her to live in this fantasy she's built in her mind a little while longer.

"So your psychiatrist tells me you did quite well during your treatment," she starts her voice a starting to get a little brighter.

Inwardly I scowl at her term treatment. What they did to me wasn't treatment, it was hell.

"You mean captivity," I sneer directing my harsh gaze to her momentarily before averting my gaze out the window. I don't miss the flicker of pain across her eyes, she knows I'm right no matter how she tries to deny it. "But worry not Mother, I'll make something out of myself despite the unfortunate setback," I finish a little more softly.

She simply peers at me before shaking her head.

"You're so like your father, always wanting more." She mumbles.

Rage fills my veins at her comment. I am nothing like Jack, or her I might add. I would never do to a child what they did to me, especially my own child. But I hold my tongue because saying anything would only cause a fight, a fight I cannot win. You cannot make someone see something they simply do not want to see.

Instead I just continue to stare out the window watching the trees blur into melting colors. A part of me is slightly concerned what I will be coming home to, that maybe I really was sick. But as soon as the thought enters my minds, I shake it off.

"Speaking of your father," she begins timidly. "A little while after your treatment began, we bought another house. We were going to sell the old one, but your father insisted it would be better if we kept it for your own use after you were released" she says and immediately I'm sitting up paying attention as well as Emmett. "The house is paid for, only the electricity and water is what we ask you pay once you are able to obtain a job. Seeing as Emmett needs a place to stay, this works out perfectly." She says as she looks at me through the mirror. "The house is yours Edward, when you reach the age of twenty-one the title will be in your name. Then you can decide to keep it and start a family, or choose to sell it. Either way it's your decision," she finishes.

Finally her little speech makes full meaning in my head, she's leaving me alone? While the thought of actually being without them is rather nice, it's the notion she just had me hauled off to a mental institution where I rotted for six years and not once didn't come to see me or speak to me, to now dropping me off at that wretched house to be completely alone where they would go out of their way to pay the extra money just not see me again, stings. This is not surprising from Jack, but from her? I assumed she would have put her foot down a little harder. It's funny how despite everything she's done and allowed that she still is able to hurt me with her indifference.

So I choose not to speak, when has speaking ever changed anything between us before?

As we ride for what seems like an eternity, the iron gate comes into view and knots form their way into my stomach. Approaching the house, I swallow some, bracing myself.

As I look at the house I notice how it hasn't changed at all. Looking up to the window I half expect to see a girl there, and to my relief there isn't one. Everything I encountered was only in my mind. The car comes to a halt and my mother turns around to face me.

"Ready? I have your old room prepared for you." She says before opening her door and walks to the front door.

I simply nod in response as I help the driver get the rest of my luggage.

All in my head. I repeat the mantra in my mind as I walk up to the door.

"Thank you Mrs. Masen for your hospitality, it does not go unnoticed I assure you," Emmett says quietly to her, the first words he's spoken since the train. His voice is steady, full of charm and warmth and judging by the way my mother smiles, it seems to have deeply affected her. Consequently I roll my eyes.

Soon as we enter through the door, I notice that everything is the same. The wood just as dark, the paintings, the furnishing, everything as it was before. As the three of us walk up the staircase, a familiar eerie feeling trails up my spine.

"Emmett, the spare room is the last door to the left," she says while pointing. Slowly he walks down the hall and disappears.

Finally reaching my door, I slowly turn the knob and walk inside.

Everything was exactly as I left it, except more clean. The full bed still resides in the corner and my chest and wardrobe opposite of it. Dropping my luggage, I see what looks like a toy soldier peeking from underneath my bed. Turning to my mother, I gently grab my last piece of luggage from her hands and place it next to the others.

"Well, I'll leave you to yourself now" she says before she turns for the door. "Your father and I would like you to join us for dinner on Fridays at six-thirty, Emmett is more than welcome to come as well," she says, though I cannot fathom why he'd want to see me.

It's not a suggestion. I can only imagine what it would be like refusing Jack, because that's who I would be saying no to, not her and it will be her that pays for it.

She gives me one last sad smile before leaving.

As she closes the door, an emptiness finally settles in my stomach, seeming to expand to every hole in my body with each passing second. Realization that life may be even more lonely here than at the institution finally sinks in. There I at least had Esme, and here? Well I have nothing, not even my parents want to be bothered of me, nothing except for Emmett. But suddenly his name is like a balm on a burn wound, soothing me some.

Slowly I make my way to my bed and get on my hands and knees, peering what lies beneath it. Toy soldiers, a dusty book and the remains of a candle all lay there. Taking off my jacket, I slowly crawl underneath the bed, feeling more at home there than anywhere else, and pick up the book.

Suddenly something catches my eye in the corner of the floor. There laying alone, and covered in dust lay a music box. Suddenly a tightening in my chest forms and I find it hard to breathe, a frightening feeling uncurls in the pit of my stomach at the sight of it.

"_Have fun shopping?" she asks quietly. _

_I nod my head in response before going to the opposite side of the room and picking up the package. Her eyes widen slightly at what's in my hand. _

"_You know, it's bad luck to open a gift before you're supposed to" she says. "Won't your mommy and daddy notice if you unwrap it?" _

_I smile broadly as I sit on the bed. _

"_Whoever said it was mine?" I ask mischievously. _

_She looks at me for a moment cautiously then her eyes go wide with surprise. _

"_Yup," I say while popping the 'p.' "It's for you!" I say really enthusiastically. _

"_Shhh!" she says while trying to contain her laughter. _

_Immediately I clamp a hand over my mouth in an effort to quiet down. She then picks up the tiny package with caution and laughs when she reads the card. _

"_Well, you're pretty handsome yourself" she says as I secretly gloat on the inside. _

_She rips open the paper and she cradles the box in her hand. Opening it, the beautifully, haunting music begins to play. She closes her eyes and falls to her back on the bed. Soon I join her, laying beside her. As the music continues to play, I grasp her hand tightly and she soon turns her head and smiles at me. _

_In response I stick out my tongue at her and she rolls her eyes.. _

"_We'll be friends forever right?" I ask quietly. _

_She then turns to me again, with a painful expression but quickly smiles. For some reason I can tell the smile doesn't meet her eyes, it's almost a sad smile. _

"_Of course," she says. "Forever," she breathes out. _

_Soon I find myself falling asleep with my hand still in hers, but not before she whispers in my ear. _

"_Goodnight __Edward__," she says so quietly._

Shutting my eyes tightly I repeat the comforting words I thought before entering the house.

"All in my head, all in my head" over and over again. But I don't feel relieved or comforted.

Actually I am left more frightened than before, frightened by the idea of seeing _HER_ again, and the faint trace of want left in its wake.

* * *

So much mystery surrounding Bella's character. I promise you, when she makes her debut, it will be well deserved and worth the wait!

How did you like this one? Please let me know! Till Wednesday!


	5. Chapter 4

I know, it's been a while, but I'm officially back on track with the holidays being over!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**xxx**

A cold chill runs down my spine as I take in the silence around me. Even after six years, the eeriness is something that is yet to change. Hearing the screeching wind outside my window, I shut my eyes tightly, willing my mind to calm itself so I can continue to read my book in peace. Yet with each passing moment, I find I am even more wound up than calm. Maybe it's the darkness that is washed over the sky, or the dark shadows playing on my walls that keeps me filled with unease.

Get a handle on yourself Edward! This is ridiculous!

Finally I toss my book aside, frustrated with my temporary weakness of mind. Hearing it skid across the floor, momentary guilt wells up inside me; Esme gave me that book as a present, and I should treat it with more respect than that. Annoyed even more so with myself, I slowly make my way to the wet windowpane. Looking over the back garden, childhood memories play in my mind like a broken record. Isabella's black hair flowing in the wind, her pink, tinged cheeks, and dirty, white dress as she lies in the grassy field.

It's a beautiful image, but I have no need of imaginary girls. No, what I need is a companion, a wife; someone to help bring me back into society and rebuild my reputation. Rosalie's face comes to mind, her blonde hair and twinkling blue eyes that just scream naivety and innocence. She is quite beautiful, her appearance close to that of my own mother.

It is her ignorance and simplicity that entices me the most, she will be most easy to control and manipulate. A smirk plays up my face as I envision how gullible she will be. A quick charming look, and clever statement should reel her right in. I still remember the look in her eyes as she left with her mother, completely entranced by me. No, she shouldn't be too difficult at all, easy as impressing a young child. Her eyes will go wide in wonder, and always be left with wanting more.

Suddenly I hear the faint noise of footsteps coming from the attic and I stand and look up at my ceiling, the chandelier hanging begins to shake slightly as if someone or rather something is hurriedly walking. Eeriness sets in as the noise continues, for I know good and well there is no one up there. The attic door was locked when we moved in, and the key has never been recovered. Even Isabella told me once to never venture up there.

A cold chill runs down my spine as my imagination conjures up horrific explanations. While everything inside of me screams to just sit down and ignore it, but it seems my body is frozen to the spot I am standing. Suddenly the noise stops abruptly, as if it wasn't there. My breathing hitches as my nerves continue to get the best of me.

Rats, it must be!

It's the only logical explanation I can come up with. Finally my breathing returns to normal as I stand in my room. The candle flickers softly as shadows play against my wall, the flame going back and forth.

Finally I get a hold of myself and get inside my bed. Fear crawls up my skin but I force myself to calm down. Blowing out my candle, I let the darkness engulf me. Soon I find my eyelids grow heavy. Sleep begins to take over me, and for once I feel safe.

_Cold hands force me down into a chair, as they clasp the leather restraints on the my wrists. Trying to plead for them to let me go, but I find my voice is mute and nothing is said. The nurses just bustle around me, completely unaware of my terror. Finally one walks up to me, her eyes sunken in, and her mouth twisted in a sadistic smile. _

"_Don't worry Sweetie, you won't feel a thing" she whispers chillingly. _

_Suddenly I feel the chair tipping backwards and a cackling is heard all around the room. My breathing hitches and a fear takes hold of me. Icy cold water engulfs me, and I can't breathe anymore. Panic seizes my body, as I thrash around. Finally the pain hits and I scream underwater as the burning increases tenfold. They say drowning is supposed to be euphoric. They lied. _

_Then my __eleven year old __body is being abruptly pulled out by my hair and I let out a howl of pain as the curly locks are yanked to the roots. Laughter echoes at the sound of my discomfort. __I'm somewhere else now. I'm near a __pond__.__ The three boys surrounding me all wear sadistic grins plastered on their hideous faces. _

"_Call to her M__asen__," Jasper whispers jeeringly in my ear._

_I barely have time to comprehend before his fist pounds into my abdomen. A scream escapes my lips as pain shoots through my body. They laugh in amusement to my suffering, to my pain. He then leans into my face. _

"_Call to her now!" He demands._

_To my humiliation, my mouth opens to its own accord. _

"_Isabella__," I whisper hoarsely. _

_They all laugh and __Jasper__ comes forward again._

"_Louder M__asen__, she can't hear you" he jeers._

_Suddenly the hand on my neck plunges my face into the pond again. In utter desperation and hate, I let out a strangled yell underwater._

_Soft fingers caress my cheek and I find the strength to open my eyes, there floating in front of me is __Isabella__, in all her beautiful glory; her black hair swirling around her and dark lavender eyes piercing straight into my own. She then cups my face, smiling sweetly at me as if saying everything is going to be all right. _

_Suddenly her face contorts into pain, and her eyes look down. Slowly I follow her gaze and to my horror find blood there, pouring from some unknown wound. Her eyes look back to mine, terror flooding in them as the blood now pours from her mouth. Soon all I can see is the blood stained water and __Isabella__ is beginning to be pulled away. _

_In my panic I scream and thrash in protest, reaching out for her. _

_Don't go! I need you!_

_But soon her eyes roll to the back of her head and I know it's over. She's dead. Gone. _

_Screaming in agony, in my pain, I then feel the jerk of someone's hand. _

Waking up with a start, I feel sweat pouring down my back and face. It's the same dream that I've dreamt for years now. My skin tingles from whoever's touch has just awoken me. I jerkily look around the room, my eyes searching for Emmett.

Someone touched me! I can still feel it! Adjusting my eyes to the darkness I continue to look for him.

But there is no one. The room is empty. Just like it's always been.

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed this one! Please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 5

Thank you to all of you who review and follow this story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**xxx**

Bringing in the last piece of firewood, I sigh in relief as I put it down. Finally, the whole morning has been just downright exhausting. The days have just started to get cold, and the snow should be here any day now. Deciding to pay my mother a surprise visit, she quickly put Emmett and I to work.

I need something; anything, a challenge that I have to work toward or I might just lose it and murder Jack. His mere name sends waves of anger through my system, that lazy bastard doesn't deserve half the credit he gets in this town. People think of him as this upstanding citizen, who wouldn't harm a fly and little do they know he hits his own wife and drinks his weight in whiskey. If there's one thing in this world I cannot stand is blatant hypocrisy and Jack is rotting with it.

As I walk into the house I hear a faint noise in the kitchen and an appetizing smell. Hungrily I wonder in there, curious as to what is being baked.

"I hate chopping firewood," Emmett states as he wipes his brow. "Really, I would rather endure ECT a hundred times over than this," he jokes.

"Of course, because being electrocuted is so much better than manual labor I'm sure," I reply with a bitter laugh.

Immediately images of Emmett being strapped to that bed and convulsing infiltrates my mind. Though he didn't receive treatment often, more looked after as an orphan than a patient, when his epilepsy was at its worst, he would undergo ECT therapy. Still, the image will never go away, in fact it leaves me cold and my hatred for world even more deeply settled in my blood.

As we walk into the kitchen, to my surprise and delight, I see my mother covered arm's length in flour with blackberries all over the counter. Happily I wonder over there and throw a few berries in mouth before receiving a sound slap on the arm.

"Stop that," she snaps jokingly. "I'm making it for the Hales, their daughter has just come home from holiday." She finishes.

Rolling my eyes I take another berry and pop it into my mouth grinning widely as she puts her hands on her hips.

"You are incorrigible, I hope you know that" she says while getting flour on the sides of her dress. "Honestly, do you see Emmett standing over there wolfing down my berries like an animal? I think not."

"Oy, leave me out of this Mrs. Masen, you don't know what he's like!" Emmett says in mock terror.

Laughing loudly at seeing flour everywhere, I grin in response.

"Yes Mother, I am fully aware of how incorrigible I am" I say. "But I find it most offensive you would suddenly make the best dessert in the history of dessert and not even allow me any of it!" I say in mock hurt.

This time it is she who rolls her eyes before getting back to work.

"Edward, as I know how addicted to sweets you are I would never be the one to indulge you in your addiction," she quips before smiling up at me. "But if you must know, I've invited them over for brunch tomorrow to which you can partake in a small piece if you like" She continues before putting one hand on her hip and suddenly pointing at me with the other. "And when I small piece young man, that is exactly what I mean! And besides the girl is quite pretty and very much available, wouldn't want to scare her away with your atrocious eating habits." She finishes with a giggle.

"You offend me!" I joke back before laughing again.

"It's not as if she's lying, sometimes I wonder if you even know the uses of silverware," Emmett states smugly to which I shove him slightly.

"Shove off," I respond.

Its moments like these where I forget where I came from, that Emmett, my mother and I are just joking around in a kitchen, as if there aren't any cracks in the relationship, no seams about to rip everything apart and I also find that maybe she isn't as awful as I believe her to be. Right now I see a glimpse of the real Elizabeth, a fiery upbeat woman with the world at her feet, not oppressed and downtrodden with abusive husband. A small smile works its way to my face as I witness her in her element, so filled with life and joy.

Maybe it's because Jack hasn't been around these past few days, that suddenly life is becoming more clear, the way it should be. And I long to savor the moment for as long as it lasts, knowing it won't be there always. Moments like these are fleeting, coming and going with the wind, too distant and not nearly long enough.

"Your father left his briefcase here, can you take it to him on your way back?" She asks not even looking at me because suddenly now her pie has become much more interesting than myself.

And just like this, the moment is lost.

Emmett looks at me cautiously. He knows of Jack's temper; he's seen it. Friday night dinners did not go without some kind of insult directly aimed towards me, and occasionally even Emmett.

Scowling inwardly that she would even ask me, how could she, knowing where Jack and I stand with each other? Finally shaking off my anger for a moment, I decide to amuse her and take his damn briefcase. At least the errand will get me into town. With a huge sigh I agree.

"Okay, fine" I say.

…

The building to Jack's workplace isn't nearly as big as I expected it to be. For years when I was child, I fantasized about his world, but as I enter I find myself severely disappointed. For once I see he really isn't worth all trouble he causes my mother and I. He's just a drunk with a chip on his shoulder who for some unknown reason believes he's entitled to everything he wants.

"You might want to get lunch, God knows how long this could take" I say to Emmett. "There's a place right around the corner, the coffee is weak but at least it's hot," I finish.

He merely nods at me looking down the street.

"Okay," he says before turning towards me. "Just get in and get out, Jack likes provoking you, don't let him have the upper hand. You lose your temper and he wins," he says earnestly.

And in this moment I feel slightly guilty for the way I treat him, he's good and a much better friend than I. Nodding I walk into the building. He's right though, I have to keep my temper in check, act apathetic, as if what he says doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Approaching the secretary desk, I try to avoid being trampled by the traffic of people all crowded in this tiny space. Slightly disgusted, I finally manage my way to the front. The girl behind the desk looks as if she's about keel over with her frantic eyes and messy hair. Snickering quietly I finally cough to get her attention.

Her frantic eyes find mine and immediately they turn dark. Her eyes heavy lidded with lust, can't seem to comprehend I'm here for a specific reason, not just to be ogled at, not that it offends me, merely just annoys me.

"Excuse me," I say borderline rudely.

Immediately she snaps out of her gaze and licks her lips in response. I nearly roll my eyes in response.

"Uh yes," she falters. "Um, can I help you?" She finishes, her hands fidgeting with her nerves.

Too easy.

Flashing her a charming smile, I lean over the desk slightly causing her eyes to go wide.

"Yes," I begin causing her breathing to hitch slightly. "I was hoping a pretty girl like yourself could point me to Jack Masen's office," I finish flirtatiously.

She bites her lower lip and giggles softly at my compliment as a faint blush tinges her cheek.

"Of course, he's right through that door," she says pointing in direction.

Smirking slightly, I briskly walk away and towards Jack's office. As I make my way through the overcrowded hallways, I see his office in front of me. It's quite obvious it's his, his name is plastered on the door. As I reach for the knob a slight noise catches me off guard. Quickly retracting my hand, as if the knob could scorch my skin, I listen in harder. On the other side of the door a faint whimpering is sounded. The noise makes my stomach hurt, it's not the pleasurable kind of whimpering, more like a pleading. I can only imagine what is going on in this room, and knowing my father isn't the kind of man who simply adheres to the word 'no' or 'please,' the images conjured up in my mind makes me shutter.

Suddenly as the whimpering escalates to more a soft cry, a slap resounds from the other side.

"Shut up you worthless bitch!" Jack's voice is harsh and gritty.

Without thinking, a rage that I haven't experienced in a long time unfolds inside me and I throw open the door. There in front of me is a young woman, with black smeared mascara running down her face, stands bending over a desk being brutally held down by my sick father. Her brown eyes shine in relief at realizing her safety. My anger boils as my father simply smiles wickedly, relishing in her pain and fear. I may be a sick man, but I would _never _force a woman to acquiesce to such humiliation and degradation, however worthless I feel they might be. I am a monster, but not the kind of monster to lower myself to such disgusting measures.

"It shouldn't come to any surprise that one finds you must force yourself upon a woman instead of being wanted and desired." I mock, savoring how his smirk immediately turns into a sneer. "Pity, even I thought you had more finesse than a wild, mindless animal who succumbs to every desire without restraint." I continue as his eyes narrow and his face turns into an ugly scowl. "But I guess I thought too highly of you, believed you more- how shall I put it, astute. Embarrassing really," I finish with a debasing tone.

He scowls at me before roughly pulling up the pretty, young girl by the back of her neck, keeping her body full flush against his in a very vulgar, unbecoming manner. Her eyes widen in shock, but she keeps quiet, no doubt due to fear if she makes a sound, just swallowing in fear. He leans in close to her ear and whispers something too low for me to hear, but by the judge of her now hitched breathing, one can only imagine.

Jack then shoves the girl to the side violently, smirking as she stumbles a little. Keeping her eyes down in humiliation and shame, she quickly rushes by me and exits the room. Jack's eyes quickly fall to her backside as she opens the door, enjoying the curves of her body.

Disgusting.

"Well, now that you've officially run off my play-toy, you better have a damn good reason" Jack suddenly says gaining my attention.

Funny, completely amusing how he believes he can try to demean me. Smirking at him, I take a step forward clutching his briefcase in hand. Not that I wouldn't mind beating him until his face sinks in, but I far more important things to attend to than wasting my time and energy on Jack.

"Well you know, your _wife" _I say the last with emphasis, "thought you might need this." I say as I rudely toss it on his desk, smiling as it skid objects to the floor. "What an interesting conversation we'll have when I return to her. That not only is her husband a pathetic drunk, but he subjects woman to the unfortunate confrontation to his obviously unappealing manhood. Won't she be delighted?" I finish mockingly.

Immediately he takes a threatening step towards me.

"Let me get something clear to you, you worthless piece of –

"Sir your 2'o clock appointment is here," a woman states, obviously oblivious to the conversation she's walked in on.

Jack simply sends her a murderous glare and I just smirk in response before turning around for the door. Right as I walk through, I quickly stop and turn to him.

"Yes, yes I know- unworthy of all the love and support you give this family and that I am so selfish to even think for a moment that you would disrespect my mother, your wife in the slightest. You, the oh so upstanding and model citizen, the epitome of morality and character, pardon me if I've offended you and your current disposition. But you might want to appease that particular woman that just graced you with her presence earlier, wouldn't want to tarnish that perfect reputation now would we?" I finish before walking out briskly and leaving behind a very angry Jack and open-mouthed secretary.

As I walk quickly back through the building, I see the woman I flirted with earlier smiling shyly at me, her eyes hopeful that I will give her some kind of attention. Not even paying her the slightest bit of interest, I walk out of the building.

* * *

I hope you guys enjoyed this one. Poor girl, at least Edward was there to save her!

Like always, please let me know what you think!

*For those reading **I Found**, I'm so sorry I'm late updating (again) the past couple of weeks have been a nightmare. I haven't lost inspiration, just a lot going on. Hopefully I will be able to update that one tomorrow!


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